Not Even a Mouse...

I've got to admit; it does feel a little like Christmas Eve. It's only hours before the official kickoff of the 2010 NFL Season and the true beginning of the 2010 NCL Title chase. It's been a long, boring-ass summer with only Soccer and Lebron's D-BAG FEST down in Miami to keep us preoccupied. Well that and of course like 15 celebrities died (RIP Corey Haim and Gary Coleman).

Tomstradamus is back, and although Chris Simms is still chasing that elusive 2006 MVP, he's ready to get back on track. So with that my fellow cooters, here are 5bold predictions before the 2010 season gets truly underway.

1. Justin will win the NCL Title

Actually, this season is a two-horse race (sorry everyone else). It's going to be either Jace or Justin, and in the end I'm going with the guy with 5 viable RB options. Injuries happen and often derail fantasy seasons...AP is due.

2. The Texans Will Not Make the Playoffs

Yeah, I know...it hurts me just writing that, but we've got to face the facts. The Texans are without Brian Cushing for the first four games, and they will be rolling out the not-so-dynamic duo of Glover Quinn and Kareem Jackson against the likes of Peyton Manning, Tony Romo and Donovan McNabb. And that's just in the first three weeks. 9-7 for Houston this year; and Kubiak is shown the door.

3. The New York Jets will Miss the Playoffs

While Rex Ryan is the most entertaining NFL Coach since Jerry Glanville, and the Jets Defense is fierce, the loss of Thomas Jones and Alan Faneca will hurt the offense a little more than they realize. The Patriots are the class of the AFC East, and the Dolphins aren't too far behind. Sorry Rexy; Matt Sanchez is a doucher. Let's go have a goddamned snack! (Hard Knocks Reference)

4. Terrell Owens Will Be Released by Week 10

Who honestly thought that teaming TO with Ochocinco was a good idea? Well, the team that signed Pacman Jones, that's who! In all honesty, does anyone envision a scenario where TO makes it through without at least throwing his Receivers coach under the bus? Then again, the Bengals don't release anyone...until they die (RIP Chris Henry).

5. Predictions

AFC Division Winners

New England-East

Baltimore-North

Indianapolis-South

San Diego-West

AFC Wildcards

Miami

Cinncinati

NFC Division Winners

Green Bay-North

Atlanta-South

Dallas-East

San Francisco-West

NFC Wildcards

Philadelphia

New Orleans

AFC Champion

Baltimore

NFC Champion

Atlanta

Super Bowl Champions

Baltimore


That's it, Cooters. Enjoy kickoff 2010.