In Summation

Greetings, Cooters,

First I want to congratulate the Aggies on their move to the SEC, which they celebrated by choking away a 4th quarter lead at home to Oklahoma State. Nice.

In all honesty I thought I had a shot to win the league this year, even with Michael Vick playing like a sack of tepid urine. Kenny Britt was tearing it up, and Jamaal Charles was good enough to put together a year behind the garbage that is the Chiefs. Well, they tore it up all right #ACL/MCL. And Miles Austin is out until Week 6. That's okay. I'll still be Jelly, and probably Boobs.

Metz is back with the White Boy Super Squad, tearing up the league. I'd have to go back and check, but has anyone ever won a Fantasy Football league ever that started five white guys?

It was nice to see Wall lose. Afterall, everyone hates him, right? Jesus, I know I do.

Boobs got married this past weekend, thus leaving Jelly (engaged, allgedly), Mendo, and Austin (I think) as the last cooters remaining on the market. As Jelly will be gone soon, I've gotta say money's on Mendo to be the last man standing. I can totally see him as 53-year-old Midtown Guy, dancing with Glowsticks and shooting buttery nipples.

I watched 6 games from this past weekend, and came away totally in awe of Colt McCoy's leadership. Despite the Buffalo win, and Brees dominating the Texans in the 4th quarter, Colt really stood out. What a winner. Just a pure, complete winner.

Quick Hitter this time, guys. And really, I just wanted to write something so I can post the video below. MVP 2014. Enjoy, bitches.

http://youtu.be/_Xt4Ib3fsh0

Titletown

Tomorrow night we'll see 'Johnny Cakes' Rodgers (have you seen the dude's mustache?) take on Drew Brees and the remnants of a decent defense. I'm going to skip the formaility of writing this week and just give you straight, old fashioned Inside the NCL format.

Step 1: Piss People Off

Seriously, if every college football program that's been largely irrelevant for the last decade tries to run to another conference after FINALLY winning 9 games, college football is fucked.

Step 2: Football Commentary

Division Winners
AFC West
San Diego

AFC South
Houston

AFC East
New England

AFC North
Pittsburgh

AFC Wildcards

Kansas City

New York

NFC West

St. Louis

NFC South

Atlanta

NFC East

Dallas

NFC North

Green Bay

Wild Cards

Philadelphia

New Orleans

Super Bowl

Green Bay vs. San Diego

Champion
Green Bay

Step 3: NCL Commentary

The following teams have no shot at winning the title this season, largely because either A) Not enough talent, or B) They need too many big seasons from individual players:

Tibs, Jace, Mendo, Bobby, Metz, Bille (Michael Turner is done, bro)

The following teams have a shot to win this season:

Justin, Austin (all depends on Frank Gore, who may have one more good season in him), Wall (Fucker), Martin (simply because if Felix Jones stays on the field, he's a top 3 back), Tom (too much upside with a full season of Vick).

In the end, I think Wall win finally win a keeper title. Trust me, I hope he still carries the title of, "biggest fag to never win a NCL Keeper Title."

Remember, we're only a few seasons away from the coronation of Colt.

Kneelift!