Bob McNair: You are a douche.

Living in a city of perpetual sports mediocrity like Houston, where the pressure is low and fancy free, is the staunchest visage of limbo I could ever imagine. It's a place where gunsliging baseball owners worry about Sheriff Blaylock nacho sales more that the fat tub of chili cheese sauce steals cash like it's a stack of Otis Spunkmeyers out of the EZ Bake.

Then there's Bob McNair, the man who brought professional football back to Houston. A brilliant business man and savvy public figure who at one time embodied all that was good and righteous in what could be a prosperous football franchise. With reports mounting that McNair will indeed retain Gary Kubiak and hire Wade 'Stay-Puft' Phillips as the DC, McNair proves who's no different that Uncle Drayton.

There's only about 2034 things wrong with this situation, but I'll give you the most glaring. Can anyone tell me the only NFL franchise to employ the heaad same coach and not have reached the playoffs at any point in the last five seasons? Why, it's the Houston Texans and native son Gary Kubiak. As a headcoach who's proven an inability to manage the clock and run the football consistently (WITH A FUCKING 17 POINT LEAD) with the NFL's leading rusher, Kubiak's only managed one losing season in five. And last season, the lone 9-7 campaign, the lowly Texans beat-up on the JV NFC East and a Patriots team that played Brian Hoyer for an entire half.

Under Kubiak the Texans have employed two defensive coordinators: Richard Smith and Frank Bush. And those two train wrecks were hired by Kubes and his resident houseboy, GM Rick Smith (more on him later). Those two trainwrecks employed and coached two of the worst defenses in the NFL, and when asked earlier this season why Frank Bush should keep his job, Kubiak responded, "Because I believe in him." Wow, now I KNOW the Texans are a franchise destined for greatness. Kubiak must think he's Tebow. Sorry Gary, only Tim has healing powers.

Then there's GM Rick Smith, the man who Gary Kubiak brought in to be his boss. He's a massive zero in free agency, his drafts have been terrible and whoever made the decision to go into a 2010 season that was expected end in a playoff run with Glover Quinn and Kareem 'The Dream' Jackson? Kubiak or Smith, it doesn't matter: FAIL.

So what's Uncle Bob's response to a pissed-off fan base and failed expectations? Wade Phillips. The same Wade Phillips whose team quit on him in Dalls. The same Wade Phillps whose dad and Houston great, Dan Pastorini campaigned for to Bob McNair at Reliant this past week. While Wade's track record as a DC is impressive, the personnel for the 3-4, which Wade employs, isn't even close. Mario Williams will have to be traded. Tumor Boy Brian Cushing and Demeco Ryans are too small. The secondary still can't cover and Brian Pollard is a poor man's Roy Williams. I could go on and on and on, but I'll have to quit or else I'll become angry and bitter, just like Jace.

What Bob McNair proved is that he's a snake-oil-selling carnival barker who's tosses out nostalgia acts in lieu of intelligent, legit football decisions. Maybe Bob's over matched or frankly just doesn't care because he's cashing in $300 million every season. Instead of Jose Cruz, maybe we can get Bubba McDowell to serve Gatorade? Remember when Drayton hired Larry Dierker? Why the hell not bring in Giff Nielson to coach? All that said, Houston fans will be ticked and show up whenever the CBA issue is addressed in the offseason. We're a city of average in everything except fat asses. Welcome to Houston, Wade, we're just right for 'ya.

Inside the NCL: Week 15

Mr. Kruger Says "We're on the right track"

Knowing that most NCL participants have a passing interest if not a dedicated, diehard interest in the Texans, I thought I'd pass along a little tidbit that you may have missed this past week. As the Texans' season came crashing down this past Monday night with Josh Wilson's pick-six at the expense of Matt Schaub in overtime, most in the league expected head coach Gary Kubiak and GM Rick Smith to be shown the door at the end of the season. And why shouldn't they be? Captain Kubes has steered the Texans to a 1-6 record down the stretch after a 4-2 start, and GM Rick Smith (widely acknowledged as Gary Kubiak's stringed puppet) has blown numerous first round picks on a defense that ranks amongst the worst in the NFL.

Just as the Cowher talk began to bubble on Houston airwaves and in the Chronicle, Texans Owner, Bob McNair (who looks exactly like Mr. Kruger from the greatest show of all-time, "Seinfeld")_ addressed his toilet-spiraling team post practice. What he said, and I'm just paraphrasing here, was basically, 'I just spoke with the owners in the NFL and they all believe that we're on the right track, and that makes me feel good.'

Really, Kruger? Everyone believes you're on the right track? I can't imagine that Jim Irsay, Jerry Jones, Bud Adams, the Glazers and everyone else in the league would tell you anything different. Of course you're on the right track; the right track for them to keep kicking your ass every season. What competitor would want you to make a change in the front office and on the sidelines when they can perpetually enjoy jumping out to 21 point leads while you're head coach fails to manage the 2-minute drill? You really think the Rooney Family wants you to bring Bill Cowher in to instill discipline and not go 1-6 through November/December? You keep believing Mr. Kruger that Coco the Monkey is going to take you to the promised land. Tell Dr. Van Nostrand hi for me, and Happy Festivus.

Efurd Wraps it Up

Efurd's going to win the NCL this weekend. His point lead is damned near insurmountable, and Austin is starting Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB. The money spots are still definitely in play, and only Austin, Bille, James Carville and J. Willy have something to play for. Everyone else: It's time to start thinking about your tags for next year.

MVP Named Starter for the Season




In other news, 2014 NFL MVP, Colt McCoy, was named starter for the rest of the season by lame duck Head Coach Eric Mangini. Anyone looking for a 'can't miss' tag for the coming seasons, and for basically the next 15 years, pick-up McCoy.

Effects of CBA on Tags

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stated this past week on NFL Network that he anticipates a new CBA being completed prior to the March 1st deadline. Player Union Rep (and all-time great nut shot artist) Kevin Mawae said on NFL Radio that things are starting to move in the right direction. If for some reason, however, we see a work stoppage, the ramifications for the league and thus the NFL will be far reaching. For example, there will be as many as 8 open coaching vacancies this off season, which will affect rosters from top to bottom. Perhaps you have a back on your squad who's heading toward free agency. You will not know for certain his future prospects with any team until you're certain on the head coach, scheme, and overall team quality.

Efurd's likely going to have to extend the franchise tag deadline if a new agreement isn't in place by March 1st.




Wall F*cks Up

Wall turned down a straight-up Vick for Hakeem Nicks trade right before the deadline. No shit, it's true.

Inside the NCL: the 2014 NFL MVP

Once a generation, a talent emerges from the mire of pre-draft collections and over-bloated college performances to become the next great one. I'm here to tell you, that the NFL's next great quarterback has arrived. That man is Colt McCoy.

After taking over in Cleveland, McCoy has led the Browns to victories over New England and New Orleans and given a long-suffering fanbase a reason to believe. That is why I feel absolutely confident in continuing my long-standing tradition of identifying excellence in the world of sports (Mark Prior, Chris Simms). Colt McCoy-2014 NFL MVP.

Mid-Way Point

With the season past its half-way mark, NCL franchises can begin to peg themselves into where their going to finish. Jace is unquestionably the man to beat, and it will tough to unseat him as Aaron Rodgers and Adrian Peterson keep producing week after week. The second tier, Justin, Austin (surprise debut season) and Wall are definitely in the mix, but Jace will have to slip up to let them back in. Steve and Bille are in the mix for the money, and everyone else should begin planning for next season and hope their asses off they can win a weekly points pot.

Franchise Trade

Is Martin the new Bobby? I sure as hell don't know, but the Chris Johnson for 'Hurt Hammy' Darren McFadden and a 2nd round pick in 2011 is a fleecing for the next two seasons. Chris Johnson, consensus number one fantasy player for 2010 has not disappointed with 721 yards and 8 TDs. McFadden has more yards with only 4 TDs, and has seemingly resurrected his career in Oakland. Martin turned down a 2011 1st and 2nd round draft pick from Tom to take the Wall deal in hopes that McFadden will still give him a chance to compete in 2010. Memo to Martin: You're 4-5. You're season is toast. Now you move into 2011 with and injury prone McFadden, an inconsistent Matt Schaub and Roddy White (I'll give it you here, Martin. I didn't like the franchise tag last year, so I'm picking crow out of my bicuspids). While backs that go over 2,000 yards are typically Barbaro for the remainder of their careers, Chris Johnson has been durable thus far and manages to elude the big hit. Now 'James Carville' Wall rolls into 2011 with LeSean McCoy (admittedly disappointing), Matt Forte and Chris Johnson. He's the new Jace for years to come. Thanks, Martin.

NOTES


-Arian Foster has emerged as one of the league's leading rushers and shows supreme balance and strength when running in the Texans' zone-blocking scheme. Justin stole the draft with the selection of Foster.

-Anyone else find it hilarious that after half of one season and never meeting the woman that Austin has already hopped 'on-board' the Nancy Wall wagon? For the record, who hasn't hopped on-board the Nancy Wall wagon?

-Kelly's selection of Eli Manning looked stupid in August, and although it was incredibly early Manning is one some experts' short list for MVP.

NCL Week 4/5 Review

It looks like the perpetually circle-jerking duo of Brett Favre and Randy Moss will finally get to play catch for the Minnesota Vikings. With Favre morphing into the 2010 version of Steve DeBerg and Moss bitching about his lack of targets, it will be feast or famine for the Vikes and fantasy owners alike. You've got to feel better about the prospects for both Favre and the Vikings nonetheless.

Patriots Giving Up?

While 'The Hoodie' bristled at claims that he was giving-up on the season with the Moss trade, there is little doubt the the Pats' offense will be different without #84. Brandon Tate, the talented, yet injury-riddled WR for the Pats' has stepped into the Moss role in practice since the trade. Tate, a recent Efurd pick-up (and potential 'Pick-Up of the Week' candidate) looks to reap fanatsy rewards. That said, I look for the entire offense to get a boost; everyone from Welker, Emmelman, Hernandez and Tate will have the Moss looks spread their way. As for the Patriots playoff chances? They're a wild card contender unless the Sanchize falls apart in New York.

Popping Jelly's Cherry?

It's no secret that Justin's first season in the NCL is a disaster, and I figured he could potentially go winless this year. Well, that was until he had my squad with Brady on a bye week and Mike Vick nursing sore ribs after being the recipient of a goal line Hulk Smash.

UPDATE-Here's the formula for a Kelly NCL Victory: Sam Bradford-((Tom Brady)-(Jermichael Finley))+ Eli Manning/Texans Pass Defense=Jelly Victory. Shit: I was the one to lose to him this year. My entire roster is officially on the block.

Injury Time

So long Jermichael Finley. And Aaron Rodgers is getting his ass kicked every week, which lead to a concussion which may or may not keep him out for Week 6. Andre Johnson's high ankle sprain isn't getting better this year, The Diabetes Kid has been out. Rough stretch with a lot of pick-ups needed to sure-up rosters.

Dents in the Camo?

Jace was one of my preseason picks to win the NCL, and to this point he has not disappointed as he sits atop the NCL after 5 weeks. That said, Aaron Rodgers is hurt and can someone starting Brandon Jackson and potentially Chad Henne seriously make a run? Now I assume Rodgers will return and post decent numbers, even with the aforementioned loss of Jermichael Finley; but will Jace's once fabled stable of RBs toting Brandon Jackson and Marshawn Lynch get it done?

Same Old Boobs

Well, it's week 5 and Bobby's where he normally is; near the bottom of the NCL. Will Boobs be perpetually rebuilding? If Ryan Matthews isn't all he's cracked-up to be, Boobs has a long road to prominence.

Pick-up of the Week

This has been a fairly active week, with a variety of moves being made by a number of teams. Martin's grab of chronically disappointing Kenny Britt shows the most upside of any pick-up this week. Britt looked good in Week 5, as VY finally targeted Britt to the tune of two touchdowns.

NCL WEEK 3 REVIEW

Three weeks are in the bag, and everyone in the NCL has a win save for Jelly who could legitimately go winless this season. Not only is Jelly losing, but he's getting sliced worse than Nicole Simpson after a good steak as his opponents have racked-up more points than any other team in the league. While there are admittedly favorites to this year's title, the race is wide open (like Nancy...you get the point). Seven to eight teams can be optimistic that if everything breaks right, the largest pot in NCL could be theirs.

Rookie of the Year

I've got to be honest; Austin's got a rock-solid team. A pair of bruising backs, a performing Tony Romo, and even though he's getting hit by a self-inflicted 'BYE' week disaster he could still take down Metz this week. And he's even stashed Sidney Rice on his squad, staying true to his 'homer' ways.

Week of the Pick-Up

With the amount of waiver moves made this week, the 'transaction pot' looks to be one of the better ones in recent memory. Apparently, a lot of teams think they're still in it. Hell, I've even made five moves and I've got ZERO chance of winning.

Trade Winds Blowing?

It's early, but when are we going to start to see trade action pick-up? As the weeks wear on, teams in desperation mode will start exploring other rosters to improve. Early rumors have Michael Vick available, and Wall is exploring options for his roster as well. And don't sleep on Boobs; he's good for at least one trade a year.

NFL NOTES

-On the topic of Michael Vick, I guess one has to ask, "Is he for real?" The Washington defense will provide Vick's first real test this year as a starter. If the numbers come in Week 4, Vick could be considered a top-5 fantasy QB start.

-The Jaguars are a mess, and without a decent QB their running attack hasn't been near what was expected in the preseason. MJD has struggled through the first few weeks, and while Reef is surely concerned, his roster of 8 million running backs provides a nice security blanket for alternative starts.

-One of last years breakout fantasy receivers, Steve Smith (NYG), isn't being targeted as much in New York's Eli-led passing attack. The beneficiary? Hakeem Nicks, who has so far proven to be a viable deep threat. I guess being slow and small may finally catching up to Smith.

FANTASY PICK-UP OF THE WEEK

Jelly's grab of Benjarvus Green-Ellis is the pick-up of the week. Since Jelly won't be winning much else this season, it's fitting he'll get at least this nod. Fred Taylor is hurt, Maroney is gone and Kevin Faulk is out for the season. Green-Ellis could be New Englands first viable fantasy RB option since Corey Dillon.

NCL Week 2: Review/Preview

Brett Favre looks old. I mean like, Alan Alda on top of James Carville's mom old; with all of the sagging skin and silver-tinged pubes combining to churn stomachs across the globe. I'm not quite sure that last sentence makes much sense, but as I'm trying to hammer this bad boy out between conference calls at the office, I'm going to go with it.

After a multi-turnover, afraid-to-look-at-anyone-other-than-Visanthe Shiancoe performance, Favre looks just about done. Especially when he quoth, "Doesn't really know what we're (team, coaching staff) doing." Looks like trouble in the Twin Cities. Somewhere everyone's favorite Norweigian Austin Salonen is gripping his blankie and praying to the alter of Randall Cunningham and a pair of semen-covered Crocs (not a blast against you, Austin, more a blast against Favre's 'text-messaging).

Start Best, for the LOVE OF OBAMA

While Jahvid Best was scoring TDs, I had Martin down for a 'stone cold lock' win. When I checked STAT TRACKER, however, I noticed a gaudy number of Best's sitting somewhere on Martin's bench. Note to Martin: Now that he's a 'must start', he's going to go for 40 yards on 15 carries. That seems to be how these sorts of things always work out. If Best keeps it up, Martin will contend.

Metz: Is His Squad for Real?

After I came out in the preseason blasting Metz for his franchise tag of Dallas Clark, he promptly responded by tossing himself into the title picture. Nice starts from Manning (predicatbly), Wes Welker (nice to see him healthy), Austin Collie (screw you Pierre Garcon), and Clinton Portis discovering the fountain of youth (WTF?). Does he have a shot to challenge the Jace's and Justin's of the world?

Jay Cutler: The Reversal of Booby's Fortunes?

649 yards, 5 TDs and only 1 int. Looks like the lovefest between Mike Martz and Jay Cutler is finally paying off. With Cutler's resurgence, and franchisable talents like Larry Fitzgerald and Ryan Matthews (jury's still out, admittedly), Bobby's 4-year plan could be paying off.

NCL NOTES

-Anyone miss the Doosh this week? With the Cowboys about to go 0-3, it'd be fun to pick on Bingham. That said, he did start Ryan Grant in another FF league last weekend. It's probably for the best that he's gone.

-I still hate Matt Forte. I hope Clay Matthews curb-stomps him.

-If there's no conceivable way you're going to place in the money (my team), do you keep blowing $5 per transaction to right the ship?


Pick-up-of-the-Week

Tom's pick-up of Mike Vick is decent, but Jace snagging Mike Tolbert and Marshawn Lynch was a nice move. When I saw those moves, I realized how much Jace cares, despite his steadfast denials of Keeper League Love. Lynch has been featured in Buffalo, and he's obviously disgruntled. The Bills aren't going anywhere, so why not feature Lynch? His most likely landing spot: Green Bay, where Ryan Grant is on IR for the season.

NCL: Week One Armchair Quarterback

After finally coming down from my 72-Hour orgasm due to the fact that the Game Mix feature has been added to the PC application on Sunday Ticket's Superfan, I've had time to digest Week One in the NFL/NCL. Prepare yourselves: I'm going to draw upon my one-year of Junior High C-Team football where I led the world in sacks (I swear I had like 20), and played the worst Defensive End technique in history to the point that Coach Bruce Fowler made a habit of getting bits of my ass stuck in the bright red whiskers of his Rollie Fingers mustache. That's what I call expert analysis.


RISE OF THE ARIAN NATION




If you're like me and perpetually kicking your own ass for not selecting Foster with one of your first picks, then I share an Oprah-level of sympathy for you. Foster got loose and shredded the historically pourous Colts' run defense to the tune of 200-plus yards and 3 TDs. Gary Kubiak was finally able to execute his offense the way he would like to: Run first, and work of the play action and bootleg game, just like he did in Denver with Elway, Davis, Smith/McCaffery. For Schaub, Andre Johnson and Owen Daniels owners, there has to be some cause for concern. It's unreasonable to expect the Texans to put up the same rushing numbers they did in Game 1 week-after-week, and weekly match-ups will dictate what how the Texans will scheme for each opponent. Up next is the Redskins 3-4 with a front 7 consisting of Orakpo, Haynesworth, Fletcher and company. I look for Schaub to pick on the 'Skin's week secondary, and Foster will struggle to top 100-yards. On an additional note, the Texans still had trouble running the ball in goal line situations, one of the drawbacks of the zone-blocking scheme.

REEF OFF TO A FAST START

My pick to take the NCL title, Efurd, got out of the box hot to start Week One. His cadre of number one running backs and Phillip Rivers will him a difficult match-up every week. However, with 'Megatron' Calvin Johnson losing Matt Stafford for an undisclosed amount of time, Johnson could be in no-man's land with Shaun Hill at QB.

FORTE: I STILL HATE THAT BASTARD



Yep, Matt Forte thrived in Mike Martz's screen game ala Marshall Faulk back in the 'Greatest Show on Turf' days. I vomited blood every time he touched the ball, and wanted to rip Wall's scrotum off and feed it to his dog.

FANTASTICAL THOUGHTS

LT > Greene?

After Shonn Greene put the ball on the ground twice, Ladanian Tomlinson became the only reasonable offensive threat on the field for the Jets and Greene found himself on the bench. Will LT be getting more looks in the Jets' running game?

Best Option in Detroit

Jahvid Best didn't set the world on fire with his 1.4 yard per carry average on Sunday, but he did find the endzone twice. If Stafford is out, Best will be more featured, and it could mean an excellent compliment for Martin to go along with Chris Johnson.

Rookie Back Issues

C.J. Spiller and Ryan Matthews were largely unimpressive in their rookie debuts. Are there any concerns after Week One for Matthews' preseason top 8 RB status?

Dallas Sucks




Uh oh! Maybe the preseason does mean something. The Cowboys continued their inept pass/run blocking performance and looked terrible. Romo, Barber, Jones, Austin, Bryant owners...there's a long, winding road to getting things right in the Big-D. For the record, I think the Cowboys will be a much better team in the second half of the season.

Carson Palmer=Chad Pennington

Is it me, or does Carson Palmer's arm look weaker than my wife's? His arm still doesn't look right after 2 years, and the TO/Ocho combo is ripe for explosion if the Bengals don't get back on track this week.


NCL WEEK ONE AWARDS

Pick-Up-Of-The-Week Award

Jace Baddock-Brandon Jackson

Nice grab for Jace here, who beat all of us to the punch for Mr. Jackson's services. That said as a Packers' fan; the dude is an uber-disappointment. NFL insiders have the Packers interested in either Fred Jackson/Marshawn Lynch to tote the rock in Green Bay.

Worst-Team-In-NCL-History Award

Justin Kelly

There's really not much more to add. His team rivals Bob's 2009 team in suckiness.

Not Even a Mouse...

I've got to admit; it does feel a little like Christmas Eve. It's only hours before the official kickoff of the 2010 NFL Season and the true beginning of the 2010 NCL Title chase. It's been a long, boring-ass summer with only Soccer and Lebron's D-BAG FEST down in Miami to keep us preoccupied. Well that and of course like 15 celebrities died (RIP Corey Haim and Gary Coleman).

Tomstradamus is back, and although Chris Simms is still chasing that elusive 2006 MVP, he's ready to get back on track. So with that my fellow cooters, here are 5bold predictions before the 2010 season gets truly underway.

1. Justin will win the NCL Title

Actually, this season is a two-horse race (sorry everyone else). It's going to be either Jace or Justin, and in the end I'm going with the guy with 5 viable RB options. Injuries happen and often derail fantasy seasons...AP is due.

2. The Texans Will Not Make the Playoffs

Yeah, I know...it hurts me just writing that, but we've got to face the facts. The Texans are without Brian Cushing for the first four games, and they will be rolling out the not-so-dynamic duo of Glover Quinn and Kareem Jackson against the likes of Peyton Manning, Tony Romo and Donovan McNabb. And that's just in the first three weeks. 9-7 for Houston this year; and Kubiak is shown the door.

3. The New York Jets will Miss the Playoffs

While Rex Ryan is the most entertaining NFL Coach since Jerry Glanville, and the Jets Defense is fierce, the loss of Thomas Jones and Alan Faneca will hurt the offense a little more than they realize. The Patriots are the class of the AFC East, and the Dolphins aren't too far behind. Sorry Rexy; Matt Sanchez is a doucher. Let's go have a goddamned snack! (Hard Knocks Reference)

4. Terrell Owens Will Be Released by Week 10

Who honestly thought that teaming TO with Ochocinco was a good idea? Well, the team that signed Pacman Jones, that's who! In all honesty, does anyone envision a scenario where TO makes it through without at least throwing his Receivers coach under the bus? Then again, the Bengals don't release anyone...until they die (RIP Chris Henry).

5. Predictions

AFC Division Winners

New England-East

Baltimore-North

Indianapolis-South

San Diego-West

AFC Wildcards

Miami

Cinncinati

NFC Division Winners

Green Bay-North

Atlanta-South

Dallas-East

San Francisco-West

NFC Wildcards

Philadelphia

New Orleans

AFC Champion

Baltimore

NFC Champion

Atlanta

Super Bowl Champions

Baltimore


That's it, Cooters. Enjoy kickoff 2010.

Draft Grades

With the 2010 NCL draft in the books, it’s time to size-up how NCL Owners performed in the draft. The draft was a bit subdued as almost everyone was hung over from the night before, but nonetheless interesting as two owners drafted via ‘satellite.’ On to the grades...

BOOBS
Grade: B

There are two certainties in life: everyone dies and Boobs drafts rookies. With that in mind, it came as no surprise when Boobs took Ryan Matthews 1st overall, as the 1st year player out of Fresno State looks to step-in and fill the RB role in the Chargers high-powered offense. With the fourth pick in the first round, Boobs selected Larry Fitzgerald, a franchisable WR who may not produce this season, but will nonetheless provide value if Arizona ever finds a QB. Boobs loaded up on RBs with 2nd-year back Knoshown Moreno, Marion Barber and Colts successor Donald Brown before chasing 2nd year WR Jeremy Maclin, who will likely evolve into a 1b option in Philidelphia opposite Desean Jackson. Mike Wallace will be the number one option in Pittsburgh at WR, and if Percy Harvin can keep from vomiting he’ll be a threat for the Vikings with Sidney Rice out for 8 weeks. Good, safe draft for Boobs with lots of franchise options after this season, because his current roster of franchised players blows harder than…you guessed it…Nancy Wall.

Wall
Grade: B—

Ragin’ Cajun James Carville look alike entered the draft with questions on his franchised roster. McFadden will be the number 2 option in Oakland, Matt Forte needs a strong rebound in a Mike Martz offense and LeSean McCoy is my pick to repeat Matt Forte’s 2009 season. DeAngelo Williams is a safe pick at RB, although his future is in question with his contract up at the end of this season and Jonathon Stewart/Michael Goodson looking to assume the two-headed monster role in Carolina. There are questions for Williams if Wall’s looking to drop a tag at year’s end. Nice add of classic number 1 receivers in Steve Smith and Reggie Wayne. Smith’s upside is limited by Matt Moore, but great deep threat potential in Hakeem Nicks. Michael Bush will be the number one in Oakland, and he stocks up at QB with Flacco and Favre. He waited awhile on TE with Gresham, who’s a borderline one.




Austin
Grade: B+

For all of my cracking on Austin for his affinity for Minnesota, he actually acquitted himself quite well in his first NCL draft. Frank Gore is a slam dunk number one RB and a potential franchise player for another two seasons. Desean Jackson is a number one WR, but his fantasy scoring came in bunches last season, and the droughts were painstaking. Plus Maclin should emerge as just as viable an option for Kolb in Philadelphia. Cadillac is a nice RB 3 option, though injury prone, and D. Bowe is an unknown in KC, but the unquestioned number one option for Matt Cassel. Shiancoe is a nice TE pickup with Favre back in the fold, and a great value pick with Lee Evans late. Nothing outstanding at WR on the roster, but a lot of potential leaves Austin with a solid roster going forward.

Bille
Grade: C

I guess there weren’t many better options at RB in the first round, but Pierre Thomas is viewed is a partial homer pick with nice potential in a crowded NO backfield. Reggie Bush has shown an ability to run between the tackles during the preseason, and the backfield should be considered a legit platoon. Greg Jennings is the number one option in GB at WR, but with old man Driver and the emergence of J. Finley, Jennings will need to rebound from a disappointing 2009 season to be worthy of his draft slot. Felix Jones is a world of possibility, but he’s proven he’s incapable of staying on the field, and Marion Barber is still the number one in the Big D. Plus the Cowboys’ O-Line looks like pure garbage so far, and there are legit concerns in Dallas about their ability to open holes and keep Tony Romo upright. I like Malcolm Floyd in the fifth as the number one option in San Diego, and he could take Bille’s WR 2 spot by season’s end. Nice depth at QB in Palmer and Matty Ryan, and Dustin Keller could be interesting if Dirty Sanchez quits attending Bieber concerts.

METZ
Grade: C-

Fresh off the franchise tag of Dallas Clark, the NCL’s favorite trophy hunter (sorry, Jace) looked to go for it all in the last year of Peyton Manning. Metz needed help at RB, as Brandon Jacobs could be the RB2 in NY, and Washington didn’t bring in Willie Parker and Larry Johnson because they thought Clinton Portis was producing. Ronnie Brown, Metz’s previous tag will provide some pop at the RB provided he stays healthy. Ditto Wes Welker at WR. Metz’s receiving corps is running on potential and a pocket full of wishes with Johnny Knox, and Mike Sims-Walker. It’s only a matter of time before Monterio Hardesty is the man in Cleveland (for what that’s worth). Thomas Jones is nice RB3-4 depth.

Kelly
Grade: F

Eli Manning first round pick. Larry Johnson. Derrick Ward.

Mendo
Grade: C

The only thing impressive about Steve’s draft was his iPad. Joseph Addai is a by-the-chalk number one in Indianapolis, and scuttlebutt out of Indianapolis is that Donald Brown is not ready yet to carry the load. Vince Jackson in the 5th was a reach, considering no one knows when he’ll play and who he’ll play with. We know for certain that it’s not going to be San Diego. Brent Celek is a solid TE pick, and Steve Breaston is a victim of Derek Anderson Syndrome.

Roy
Grade: A

With Chris Johnson on his roster, Martin did an amazing job of grabbing RB potential. Jahvid Best is the man out of Detroit, and while he carries the same warning tag as all rookie RBs, he’s been shooting up draft boards across the fantasy landscape while Kevin Smith continues to rehab. Ahmad Bradshaw will be the number one back in New York, and he looks like an absolute beast this year. Ringer was an absolute handcuff necessity with the history of backs coming off of 2,000 yard seasons, and he had to get CJ’s backup. Martin’ WR corps will be his weakness. I’m not crazy about Bernard Berrian as his WR 2. There’s a reason Minnesota brought in Javon ‘Make-It-Rain’ Walker and Greg Camarillo other than Sidney Rice’s convenient hip surgery. Fred Taylor is a nice addition, even with Bill Belichek’s penchant for rotating 3 RBs and giving them equal carries.

Cathey
Grade: D

Without his 1st and 4th round picks, Tom once again backed himself into a hole. Jonathan Stewart was the pick in the 1st round, taking into consideration the Stewart will be the number one in Carolina next season. It was a franchise pick. Then he started the TE run too early, and even though Finley will be the top rated TE by year’s end, he probably could’ve used WR help there. At WR, Garcon could end up being the man in Indianapolis by year’s end, but with an undisclosed injury cropping-up, who knows. And yes, Hines Ward could be value, he’s got Dennis Dixon until Week 5 and an emerging Mike Wallace who should be the go-to-guy for the Steelers shortly. Tom had to go with fliers at WR in Kenny Britt, Jacoby Jones and Mike Wallace. Could those guys be Tom’s Desean Jackson and Steve Smith (NYG) of 2010? Doubtful. Oakland defense? Really? Yeah, I get they’ll play the Chiefs and Broncos four times, but come on.

Tibs
Grade B

With two workhorse RBs on the roster, Tibs got to go with pass game threats in the first two rounds. Anquan Boldin could bust out in Baltimore as the number one, and Vernon Davis should post decent numbers. Ricky Williams is a good value pick, especially with the health status of Ronnie Brown an always lingering question. Dez Bryant will be a solid WR 2 option by season’s end, and Donovan McNabb looks decent in Kyle Shanahan’s offense. Solid draft for Tibs.

Jace
Grade: B+

When you’re the champ and you get to reload with Aaron Rogers and Adrian Peterson, two first round talents, life is good. Ochocinco will benefit from having TO on the other side, and Antonio Gates will jockey with Finley to be the top tight end producer in 2010. With no Vinny Jack, Gates is Phillip Rivers unquestioned number one option. Donald Driver is old, but he’s not done, especially if Greg Jennings can’t discover his 2008 form. Solid dept at RB with Maroney, and Santana Moss is a nice sleeper pick.

Efurd
Grade: A+

Efurd managed to grab four starting running backs in the draft, which is absurd. Arian Foster, Justin Forsett, Jermone Harrison (Hardesty out for the season), and Tim Hightower has beat out Beanie Wells for the top spot on the depth chart. With MJD already in the fold, Efurd can afford to deal a RB for depth at other positions. Oh, and he got Miles Austin to go opposite Calvin Johnson. Owen Daniel’s knee is healed, and Efurd takes two defenses to play match-ups. I’m calling it now: Efurd will battle Jace for the 2010 NCL crown.

It's Getting Really Difficult to like this Guy

Just as I was putting the finishing touches on the third round of this year's NCL Mock Draft, NFL Radio broke in with the news that Brett Favre had told the Vikings that he wasn't going to return this season. We've all bore witness to Brett's ego and insatiable desire to be craved like the last McNugget in a 10-piece. Of course this was the same day that Deadspin reported that Favre sent pictures of himself wanking off to Jet's employee Jenn Stergar (hot) while wearing nothing but a pair of Crocs.



Other than the fact that we're pretty sure Brett's a freak and filanderer, we also know with nearly 100% certainty that Brett will return this season to try and lead the Vikings to a world title. As I sat and skimmed my Mock Draft (which will be wronger than gays in the military (that one's for you, Jace)), it became crystal that Favre is a NCL wildcard in many ways.

Got QB?


It's no secret that if you don't have a decent starting QB on your roster, you don't have a great shot at placing in the money in 2010. More than half of the league retains a QB franchise tag, which leaves those without to fight over the likes of Kevin Kolb, Matt Ryan and Eli Manning. Not that there's anything wrong with those guys (especially Kolb, who I think will be a top-7 QB by season's end), do you take a flier on Favre as a one-year stop gap? Favre had an outstanding 2009, which saw him finish in the top six of fantasy QBs in overall points. However, he's one year older on a gimpy ankle; and you assume he won't be around for another season. Where will the production be, and what round could you get him in?

Other Guys

Without Favre, Bernard Berrian, Sidney Rice, Percy Harvin and Visanthe Shiancoe become the fantasy football equiavlent of Detroit Lions. Can you imagine what their respective numbers would be like with the Rosencopter or even worse, Tavaris Jackson is under center? It's a scary thought. Favre's potential output elevates each of these players by one if not two rounds in some cases.

NCL NOTES


So long, COMO

I was going to write an obit for Como's exodus, but Martin took care of that for me.

Comeaux isn't a retard. He just didn't want to say it....but..... He recently found God. When Comeaux found Him (3 days ago), fantasy football was no longer his dream. It was just that he wanted to glorify Him in everything that he did. He figured, ‘Maybe if I’m getting paid for it, I’ll be able to tolerate it." Shortly after that statement, he realized that he would never win this league and get paid. Brian Comeaux was 28 years old.

Let the firestorm begin.

Brian "Glen Coffee" Comeaux....we will miss your racoon eyes, your Louie Armstrong singing voice, your never-ending LSU honk-speak or stories where you fell asleep behind the wheel of your vehicle while sitting on a train track.

Kelly

Enter: Justin Kelly. I don't know much about Justin other than he hates movies/televisions that are fake i.e. Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, and one time I had a few Aspens with him when we were out with Steve 'Midtown' Mendo.


New poll is up. Also, Mock Draft is nearing completion. Minor adjustments for Percy Harvin's Migraine Vomiting and Ben Tate's Ankle.

Wall: The Most Hated Man in the NCL

I can't remember the year exactly. It was some time in the summer of 2003 or 2004. Wall and I were making our way down FM 1960 following a somewhat successful Star Wars action figure run at Toys 'r Us, when we spotted a family on the side of the road, each clutching signs and pleading for donations to save a young boy's life.

"Help us with a Heart Transplant", the signs read. Just as I began to ponder life's fragility and fleetingness, Wall chimed in with his own comment.

"Fuck that kid," said Wall, in as stoic a voice as he could manage.

"Fuck that kid." No three words more adequately describe the psyche and thought processes of the NCL's most reviled man.

When you poll Wall's closest friends, you'll hear stories of birdseed, teabagging after Metallica's 'Sandman' on Expert drums in 'Rock Band,' Keystone tallboys and most recently his ability to become the world's most annoying drunk.

Wall's list of NCL transgressions grows with the passing of each season. The infamous 'Wall-Gate' screwjob of the 2009 season, which left Boobs and myself scrambling while Wall reaped the fruits of his bounty. More recently he's begun to go Russell Crowe by getting drunk and threatening to fight league owners at league functions. And if he's not starting fights, there're certainly no shortage of folks wanting to kick his ass.

"After the second Sake Bomb, it's basically time to stomp the shit out of him," said one league owner on the condition of anonymity. "On the bright side, if he's drunk early enough in the draft, there's no telling how early he'll draft a back-up running back."

What's next in store for Wall? One thing's for certain, it's not a NCL Title.

"Fuck that kid."

Indeed.


AROUND THE NFL

Still in the top 2?



While many are predicting another standout fantasy season for Larry Fitzgerald, there are two HUGE reasons why Fitz may slip out of the top 10 in over WR production by year's end. Reason one: Matt Leinart. Reason two: Derek Anderson. Fitz will still go early in the August draft, but don't be disappointed by year's end if Jay Glazer's MMA buddy can't do enough to get Fitzgerald the ball.

Who now?



The buzz coming out of Texans' camp this season is who's listed at the number one position on the depth chart at RB? While you may be quick to cite Steve 'Fumbles' Slaton or second round pick Ben Tate, the top back is in fact Arian Foster. Foster closed out the 2009 season average more than 100 yards per game, and the undrafted free agent is running like a man with a chip on his shoulder. Foster could be the man to draft in the Texans' backfield.

Texas Tech Still Sucks

It's not secret that Wes Walker is a big part of what makes the Patriots' Offense go round. Thought Julian Edelman stepped in and did a yeoman's job in the slot role, Welker's abilities are too big to be replaced. Welker is back and participating in Patriots' training camp with a brace on his knee. If Welker gets back to 100 percent, Brady gets his new deal and Moss competes like he's in a contract year (which he is), the Pats could put up monster numbers yet again.

Getting Tagged

Last weekend was the annual draft lotto, and to this day no one can give a straight account of what exactly happen. From what I pieced together from various sources, Wall was holding a beer bottle on his crotch while others tried to smash it with washers. In a stunning move that NOBODY could have seen coming, a fight ensued between Wall and Mendo over God knows what. Wall is quickly becoming the NCL's Vince Young: Drinking heavily and starting fights.

The main event, however, was the announcement of 2010 NCL franchise tags. As expected, the tides have turned toward the passing game and the quarterback position, and we've seen the inaugural set of tags fall away on a few fantasy stalwarts hit the open market. Eight of the top nine fantasy quarterbacks (based on NFL.com FF rankings) are under team control going into the draft, many with multi-year tags extending beyond the 2010 season. The RB position is in a similar boat. Many of the bonafide number one backs are tagged, with a few aging vets and players with extremely thin tread left on the tires.

With that in mind, below are grades by team for franchise tags; which serve no real purpose other than to give us a diversion from Comeaux's incessant whining about how the SEC is the best conference in college football (while he fails to realize that nobody here gives a fuck).

BADDOCK

Grade: A-


The three-year tags for both Frank Gore and Adrian Peterson fell off for Baddock, and in a no-brainer move Baddock slapped the one-year on AP. Ryan Grant, who is in the final year of his three-year tag, stays on the roster as a solid number 2 fantasy back. Baddock made the smart choice by retaining Aaron Rodgers for the next three seasons. Among the young quarterbacks, he's the most comfortable in his system and is poised to post big numbers for years to come. Baddock somes into the 2010 NCL Season with 2 of the top 20 players tagged and is the pre-season favorite to repeat. Is Jace still bitching about the keeper concept? Probably. Jace bitches about everything.




BILLE

GRADE: B-

When Bille assumed control of Jensen's franchise, it was worth less than a basket of unleavened bread. Tasked with a rebuilding project, the league's second most annoying Cajun took consensus best player available in the 2009 Michael Turner, hoping to get back on the road to respectability. Bille carries top-8 back Michael Turner into 2010 and tagged WR Marques Colston with a 3-year. While Colston isn't worth the tag (number 12 overall WR on NFL.com), Bille had to carry something into 2010.

SALONEN

GRADE: B+



Salonen takes over the Lil' Doosh's team, inheriting Tony Romo and Braylon Edwards who are both in the final years of the their tags. In his first act as a league owner, he tags Rashard Mendenhall and hopes to grab a franchise player with his first pick in the 2010 draft. There wasn't a lot else he could do here. When Edwards and Romo are off the books, the parade of Vikings will commence in 2011.

Boobs

Grade: C

The NCL's Dan Snider has set the NCL league precedent with 87 trades in the span of three seasons. En route he's dismantled a team with a lot of promise and ended-up with a bag of John Elway's Oats and Apples. Boobs' squad in 2010 will be anchored by The Soldier and Captain Diabetes. The Soldier is an absolutely horrific tag under any circumstance, and after the 2009 NFL season, I'm inclined to say the same thing about Jay Cutler. However, with Mike Martz's Air-Attack Carnival commanding Cutler to put the ball in the air 50 times per game (which could admittedly lead to 5 picks per game), Cutler shows some long term upside. Boobs holds two picks in the top four this year, and the king of taking a rookie running back way too early will absolutely select Ryan Matthews.

Cathey

Grade: C

Tom had a great draft in 2009, which left him with a bevy of young talent. He keeps Tom Brady with the one-year tag, thus passing on Larry Fitzgerald (Matt Leinart or Derek Anderson? No F#*$ing thanks) and placing him back into the draft. Tom's saddled with the steadily declining LT who's no better than a number 3 back, and slaps the three-year tag on Jamaal Charles. Charles is a top 12 player heading into 2010, but with Thomas Jones in the mix (and the Blob, Charlie Weiss), who knows what to expect out of the KC backfield.

Efurd

Grade: B+

The Phillip Rivers tag should pay dividends for years to come as long as Vincent Jackson gets his ass on the field at some point. Efurd took Calvin Johnson early in 2009, hoping to land a franchise qb. Johnson's 2009 campaign took a hit when Matt Stafford went down, but CJ stands to have a breakout 2010. Efurd gets MJD for another season, one of the NFL's only feature backs. A strong team of franchised players make Efurd a title contender in 2010.

Mendo

Grade: B+

Does anyone else have a hard time believing the Mendo has won a keeper title? I still can't. Mendo burns his first round pick on Brees, which is good value, and places a three-year tag on Ray Rice. Mendo will finally escape the horrid 'Possession Receiver Extraordinaire' T.J. Houshmandzadeh after 2010. I don't know what the hell is going on here. Mendo making smart NCL decisions?

Metz

Grade: C



The Lil' Hunter places the one-year tag on Peyton Manning and will run out of aging RB Clinton Portis after this season. Brandon Jacobs will need to rebound from a disappointing 2009 if he's to prove he's worth his tag. Metz's shocker move? Dallas Freaking Clark for three years. Now I know he's the number one overall TE in 2010, but a three-year tag?

Roy

Grade: B+

I struggled grading Martin's franchise tags more than any other team, but when taking into account the fact that he didn't have a first round pick it made more sense Martin pays to drop Bryan Westbrook, and takes Matt Schaub and Roddy White for two new three-year deals. Matt Schaub led the NFL in passing in 2009 and finally stayed healthy for the entire season. Although it's only one season, it was a hell of a season, and with another year in Gary Kubiak's offense Schaub should put up big numbers again if his health remains intact. There're two sides to Roddy White. One side: He's not worth a three-year tag. Currently ranked as the number 8 WR on NFL.com, better receivers (Reggie Wayne, Larry Fitzgerald, Miles Austin, Desean Jackson) are all going to be available in the first two rounds of this year's draft. The other side: White is about to go f($%ing crazy in a young offense with a blooming set of Triplets (Matt Ryan, Michael Turner) and set the world on fire. I'm going with the latter, as I'm drinking the Matt Ryan Kool-Aid in 2010.


TIBS

Grade: B-

I know he had to do it. I feel kind of bad for him, but he had to do it. Tibs tags 'The Bong' (Ced Benson) for three years, which is a move that's a stone-cold lock to be a bad tag by 2012. But he's a feature back with not a lot of tread on the tires who doesn't have a major threat pushing him for playing time (Bernard Scott). On the bright side, Tibs will get the last year of Stephen Jackson, who's due for the glue factory any season now. He should still get number 2 RB numbers, however, in 2010. Andre Johnson? Baller.

WALL

Grade: C

After 2009's Wall-Gate, Matt Forte sucked a bag of dicks just as I foretold. Wall loads-up on potential at the RB position. He's counting on Forte not to suck, Darren McFadden to not split too much time with Michael Bush and for LeSean McCoy to continue to emerge. Prognosis? NEGATIVE.

Comeaux

Grade: C



S-E-C! S-E-C! Comeaux's been pounding college football message boards at an above average pace, lashing out at the University of Texas for being afraid of playing SEC teams. He somehow found the time to tag Chris Wells who shares a backfield with TD hog Timmy Hightower. Comeaux also gets the last year of Randy Moss's contract in NE. Could be a big year for Moss, and it could be really annoying listening to Comeaux talk about 2013 recruiting classes.

It's FLOPPIN' Crazy in HERE

We’re only days away from the annual draft lottery in Dallas, which also coincides with the World Cup in South Africa where thousands and thousands of Americans (this number obviously does not include our illegal immigrant population) will gather round, sipping Capri Suns and sucking down orange slices to watch grown men fall on the ground repeatedly. Rivoting.


The NCL Draft Lottery, where NCL owners will make crucial franchise selections, is a bit of an inexact science. Before even mini and training camps, owners are forced to predict what’s going to happen in 2010 based off of results from 2009. Needless to say, a lot can happen in the offseason that can affect what a team will do in 2010. Let’s take the Texans for example. One has to assume that Steve ‘Fumbles’ Slaton (Comeaux franchisee) is damaged goods going forward. However, what happens if already-injured 2010 2nd Round Draft Pick Ben Tate is unavailable, and the cadre of Ryan Moats, Ariahn Foster and about 36 other guys can’t answer the call? Will Slaton find success again behind an older, craftier offensive line (which is now without the service of Alex Gibbs who followed Pete Carroll to Seattle)? Will the Texans passing attack struggle under new offensive coordinator Rick Dennison after Chrissy Simms’ best buddy Kyle followed his dad to Washington? It’s easy to see where lots of questions need lots of answers, and when marrying yourself to a tag for three years is a lot of guesswork.

NCL NOTES

Receiver League?

With the NFL babying the quarterback and disallowing as much as a finger to be laid on a wide receiver and the advent of the universal two-back system, are we seeing the transition to QB/WR dominated fantasy football landscape? Looking at early preseason FF Rankings, the early favorites are still runners. Maurice Jones-Drew, AP, Michael Turner, Adrian Peterson and others occupy the first few spots. We’re starting to see more QBs and WRs (Brady, Manning, Fitz, Andre Johnson, etc.) sneak further up the charts. Does this affect Franchise decisions?



Favre Factor



By the Vikings inaction on the QB position (unless you include TARvaris’ one-year extension, which I don’t; black quarterbacks never win anything), it’s pretty much a forgone conclusion that everyone’s favorite Wranglers pitchman will be under center in 2010. The indestructible Favre underwent ankle surgery in the offseason and is another year older. Will he be a top fantasy QB again? If you want him…well, don’t even think about it. I’ve got Salonen taking him in the first round…and tagging him for three years.

Dash on the Short Term?

It’s a well-known fact that most running backs that go over 300 carries early in their career are as good as garbage by year four. So will Chris Johnson suffer the same fate? I say no. Though he had over 25 carries routinely, Johnson didn’t take the pounding that someone like, say Adrian Peterson does. Johnson is an outside the tackles runner who routinely bounces outside when the end stays at home due to VY’s speed, so he’s not constantly grinding out two yards and a cloud of dust.



Tom’s Pick to Not Click

Ryan Matthews-RB San Diego Chargers



Many were shocked when San Diego traded picks to move up and get Matthews out of Fresno State to man their backfield. With LT moving on to greener pastures (pun intended-LT is going to turn some heads this seasons behind the Jets’ offensive line), Matthews is the guy in San Diego. Looking for an immediate return in 2010? Not likely. The Chargers offensive line has more holes than Nancy Wall, and with the continued growth of the Charger’s pass-happy offense, Matthews won’t have much of an impact this season. He’ll likely go in the first two rounds in August’s NCL draft, but he’s more a franchise pick to payoff in 2012 and potentially beyond.

Cue the Intro

Now that it's May 23rd and the Astros are two weeks away from being eliminated in the playoff race and we're going to have a Lakers/Celtics finals, it's officially time to turn full focus toward the 2010 NFL/NCL Season. In my continuing quest to become a real writer I've contributed a few articles/editorials to the NCL Universe, the most recent being the 2009 NCL Mock Draft. Of course the mock itself turned out to be worth less than a bag of Brian Cushing's tumors, but it was fun to try to project how smart (or stupid) NCL owners' moves were during the first rounds of the draft. Going forward, 'Inside the NCL' will be my 'Peter King-ish' contribution to the NCL in a 'News and Notes' type fashion. With that out of the way, "Here....we....go..." (an early tribute the 'Dark Knight' fanboys in the league)


For the second consecutive season the NCL will have lost a founding owner. Last year, "Jesus" Jensen quit to focus on his 9 p.m. bedtime and renovation plans for Frontier Ranch in Colorado. In 2010, the Doosh was given his walking papers after regularly handing victories to other NCL franchises with his inability to fill out a competitive roster. The Doosh, one of the guaranteed, "Jersey Guys", (along with Boobs), became a walking punchline with his affinity for Dallas Cowboys and trading his picks away for cash. You'll be missed, Doosh; but alas, someone has to take your place.

NEW BLOOD

In steps Austin Salonen, Martin's brother-in-law/tenant, steps in to assume a team fraught with bad franchise tags. He'll be on the mend for at least 2010 and potentially 2011 if he proves to be an inept franchise drafter. More on that later...

Trophy Hunter



Jace Baddock finally broke through after consecutive seasons of sporting arguably the best RB stable in the NCL. Baddock, who has been openly critical of the 'Keeper League,' recently confirmed via Facebook that he is indeed engaged. The jury is out on whether or not his pending nuptials will make him an 'angrier' or 'happier' person.

Tomstradamus?


While my penchant for making wild predictions about the NFL (i.e. Chris Simms) is well-known, the NCL may want to listen during the upcoming draft. I accurately predicted the reduced production of a number of 'tier one' fantasy football running backs, including Michael Turner, Matt Forte and Steve Slaton. The attrition for running backs going into their sophomore season after a breakout rookie campaign is staggering. Both Forte and Slaton will move into 2010 with a split backfield. As for Turner, running backs with close to 200 carries from year-to-year are good as Barbaro. (Note: I did miss on Roy Williams, who proved he is a little bitch)


Homer...part deaux

While the Doosh was a walking punchline for his perpetual drafting of Dallas Cowboys, one league source indicates Austin Salonen, Doosh's replacement, could potentially be just as bad.

"The guy drafted the Minnesota Defense in the 4th round last year," commented one NCL owner on the condition of anonymity. The comment refers to Salonen's drafting in another fantasy football league 2009. If Salonen loves Vikings as much as the Doosh loves Cowboys, you can slot Salonen to finish in the bottom fourth.

Tom's 2010 Pick-to-Click

Kevin Kolb QB Philadelphia Eagles




When Andy Reid and the Philadelphia Eagles said goodbye to long-time staple (and Jace's favorite player) Donovan McNabb, they placed their future in the hands of 4th-year QB Kevin Kolb. Though relatively untested, Kolb looked good in two 2009 appearances, showing poise and an ability to make accurate passes under pressure. With the best one-two deep threat combo in the NFL in Maclin/Jackson on the outside, look for 2009 breakout TE Brent Celek to own the middle of the field. 2009 Rookie LeSean McCoy and the addition of Mike Bell, the Eagles backfield shouldn't lose a step in replacing Bryan Westbrook.